The first month went by slowly and so quickly at the same time. But ultimately, I can’t believe Emmaline is already a month old.
- being held upright (her favorite is to rest on my shoulder)
- burping (it’s so loud too – you can’t miss it)
- needing to fart / poop
- having air in her tummy
- being hungry
- being tired
- not being held
- Rylie taking (ripping) the paci out of her mouth (yeah… we’re working on that one 😛 )
Most of the first month consisted of Emmaline snacking which means she had a tendency to eat little meals more frequently vs. big meals that filled her up. It’s hard to predict which feeding will be what size though, so I’ve learned to be patient and let her lead and take her time. On average, I nurse her every 2 – 4 hours.
With Rylie, my goal was to nurse for a year – a goal I wasn’t able to complete when my supply started going away when she was 4 months and then completely left at 6 months due to my lack of taking care of myself (I would get so distracted taking care of her I would forget to eat and drink water), so we had to switch to formula. This round, my goal is just to make it one more day. I never fully understood why ladies complimented me for nursing, but now that I know how easy formula is – I gladly accept the kudos because it is hard. But I find so many benefits to it and bonding opportunities that I am determined to keep doing the harder choice.
I really can’t complain in this department because I know it could be so much worse. She obviously doesn’t sleep all night but she consistently will sleep between 4-6 hours straight at some point in the night. The first couple weeks she would stay up until 2am and then sleep until about 6 or 7am, but the last few nights she’s been falling asleep around 11pm, waking up around 3am for a couple hours and then going back to sleep. Every night is unpredictable though.
Although I’m not insanely sleep deprived, I am tired. I think a lot of it has to do with wanting to spend time with Rylie and making sure she still feels included and valued. That saying “sleep when the baby sleeps” is impossible when you have a toddler, but I do try to sneak a nap in at some point during the day.
It has been so fun to piece together what kind of baby Emmaline is. Although I made a commitment not to compare her to Rylie, it has been interesting to see what similarities they share and what their differences are.
Emmaline gets worked up instantly – there is no build up – it just happens without warning. I’m talking red face like a tomato crying. She also will fuss for no reason sometimes, which is weird because we’re used to there always being a reason for the tears.
Although she doesn’t know any differently, she tolerates her older sister extremely well. Rylie is learning how to be gentle and love on Emmaline in an age appropriate fashion.
I will admit that the first couple weeks were very hard on me emotionally. Out of jealousy for my attention, Rylie fussed a lot, and as silly as it sounds, I let a 1 1/2 year old’s emotions dictate my own which resulted in a lot of tears (for both of us) and easy frustration. I was very sensitive to Rylie’s heart and didn’t want her to feel replaced or less important. Thankfully, Aaron gracefully encouraged me out of this emotional funk which allowed me to find ways for Rylie to help with her little sister and give her opportunities for her to hold Emmaline. This made Rylie’s fussiness die down, which immensely helped my mama heart.
One thing I found that really helped my “blah” mood too was to get out of the house at some point in the day. Even if that was just a trip to the grocery store, it helped to get out rather than sitting on the couch all day.
Juggling being a mom to two has brought me so much joy but has also proven to be hard. I use the word “hard” because I’m learning how to divide my time and attention to two younglings, neither of whom you can explain the situation to and expect them to understand. But Rylie has been a phenomenal big sister and my love for my two girls has only grown.
I know the time goes by quickly, so I’m soaking up all the newborn cuddles that I can get. And even though the late nights and early mornings leave me exhausted at times, I have learned to embrace this season and cherish this unique time I get with her. Because eventually, it’s just a memory, and one day I’m going to miss it.