2019 has been a very full year already for the Shaver Crew. Selling our house (which of course involves packing, projects and more), sudden family deaths (Aaron’s grandpa and my grandpa passed the same weekend), the normal day-to-day AND celebrating Emmaline’s 1st birthday, it’s been steady, to say the least. But what we haven’t shared is that we also found out we are expecting Shaver baby #3!
In January we started the journey of moving (which all came together rapidly), but we also found out during 21 Days of Prayer & Fasting that another Shaver was on the way. I guess you could say that feeling I had in December that 21 Days of Prayer would bring some things into our lives that would change our family rhythm is kind of an understatement.
So yeah, if you’re surprised, join the club! I was definitely surprised when I saw that + sign.
I love sharing the story of how we found out, so below is the journey that led to seeing that + on a stick that clearly said our plans for 2019 were about to change.
Similar to my previous pregnancies, my first “huh, that’s weird” thing was my hunger level. I felt like nothing satisfied me and I was snacky. Really snacky. I asked Aaron one night if he was extra hungry these days and he said yes because of all the activity of moving. “Okay. Just making sure it wasn’t just me.” And we chuckled because we both knew why I was checking. Since Aaron was hungry too and we were doing more physical activity than usual, so I shrugged it off.
And then Wednesday night (1.23.19) we were out grocery shopping and I was getting easily frustrated and crying. Although I was a little overwhelmed about our move, there was no logical reason for me to be this frustrated and emotional and I knew it. My head was 100% at peace so why was I acting like this? This was not my norm and not okay in my book so why could I not seem to control it? And then Aaron asked me a 5-word question that I was dreading. “Do you think you’re pregnant?” I just looked at him in silence. We both knew that silence said, “there’s a chance,” but neither of us wanted to say it. Not because we didn’t want more kids, but because we had intentionally prevented for this season of our lives.
“All the signs are there,” I finally said. “I’m extra hungry, I’ve been really thirsty lately AND now this crazy emotions thing that I logically cannot describe where it came from. I am so at peace up here **pointing to my head** but for some reason, I feel like there is a war between my body and my head.”
“You have tests, right!?”
“Yes. And I’m supposed to start this Sunday so I could take one. Would you like me to take one when we get home?”
We wrapped up our shopping and as Aaron unloaded the car, I put Emmaline down for bed. When everything was on the counter, I went to the bathroom with a stick I was familiar with. No instructions needed. Since it clearly wasn’t a secret, Aaron said he wanted to be the one to tell me, so I did my business, put the cap on and handed him the stick and walked out to put the groceries away. A few minutes later, he walked out holding the stick up and said, “what am I looking for?”
“A + sign.”
“What does it mean if the + sign is faint?”
Oh goodness. I walked over to him and gestured for the stick and tilted it back and forth in the light. “I’m pregnant,” I said as I handed it back to him.
“Really???” Aaron asked.
“I’m pretty sure. I’ll take another test in a couple of days but the first test I took with Emmaline was really light like that but the second one I took the next day was very clear.”
The rest of the night was quieter than usual but we both knew our minds were reeling. Again, not because we didn’t want more kids – we definitely want more kids – but because this was not our timing. We had things planned for 2019 that wasn’t really “pregnancy friendly” and we were in the midst of selling our house which required a lot of hands-on work. Honestly, our plan was to start talking about it right before Rylie’s 3rd birthday in November. This would mean Emmaline would be 2 years old before a baby came and we could avoid some of the challenges we experienced with Rylie and Emmaline being 17-months apart. But God’s timing isn’t always ours and that’s okay.
Aaron and I talked over some logistics, all the “if we really are pregnant” kind of things and confirming with each other this potential news was not leaving the two of us for a few more weeks. When would I take another test, when roughly would the due date be, how did that affect the plans we had already made for the year, what would need to be adjusted, etc.
We agreed we were both excited if it was true, but we were also good if we had misread it. Regardless, another test was definitely going to be taken.
Before we went to bed, Aaron asked me if I thought I was pregnant.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes or no?”
“The signs are there…”
“YES or NO?”
“Yes. I think I am. What do you think?”
“I think you are too.”
I woke up the next morning (1.24.19) with plans to pray about this topic at great length during prayer service and literally laughed out loud when the day’s prayer focus was “our kids” and the first verse read was Psalm 127:3 – “children are a gift from the Lord.” You can actually watch the service here. After praying over my kids and pretty much every kid I could think of, I simply said, “God, if I’m pregnant, this is honestly not my timing. But I know that you’re timing is far better than mine. If you want this child to be born in 2019 because the plans you have for them require them to be born this year, then I’m excited. And if I’m not pregnant and this was a false positive, I pray that you would give us another baby in your timing.”
Like I knew they would be, the days between taking pregnancy tests were long. They were full of “what if’s” and looking at the calendar as if the longer I stared at the dates and played around with announcement ideas would make it go faster.
As I was going to bed Friday night (1.25.19), knowing I would take another test Saturday morning (1.26.19), I wasn’t as anxious as I thought I would be. Unfortunately, I woke up at 4 am with a tummy ache and a desperate need to use the restroom. I decided we were close enough to it being Saturday morning and knowing that the first pee of the day is the strongest, I got out of bed, grabbed the box and pulled out the last pregnancy test I had. I put the cap back on, set it flat and waited for the line(s) to appear.
A clear + showed up.
Yup. There was no doubt I was pregnant.
I really wasn’t shocked at the + and I wasn’t stressed about the timing. I had honestly just settled that this child must be born in 2019 to fulfill the plans God has for them.
Aaron knew I was going to take the test, but he didn’t know I had done it at 4 am. When he got up, I saw him get on his phone so I sent him the pictures above knowing they would pop up on his screen. It wasn’t more than 10 seconds before he looked at me and said, “you already took it?”
“Yes. I woke up at 4 am.”
“Oh wow. Okay then. Here we go!”
We told Rylie that morning and Emmaline as well, although they weren’t 100% what was going on and probably forgot immediately.
The following days only confirmed what the stick had told us. I never got my period and my hunger steadily increased. One night before dinner I was so hungry I couldn’t wait and started eating a bag of chips. I told Aaron, “I feel like a bear storing up for winter. It’s like my body knows a day will come when I don’t want to eat so it’s stuffing itself now.” We both laughed.
On Monday (1.28.19) I scheduled a confirmation appointment at my doctor’s office for February 20th at 2 pm (which they said would put me at 7 ½ weeks).
When my appointment came, we were so excited to see our baby. There was a healthy little nugget on the screen and they confirmed it was only one baby in there. Phew 😛
We are so excited and so honored that God is entrusting us with more children to raise.
The next few posts will share how we told our people and bump updates leading up to today.
Are you ready? Here we go!