At the end of the year, Aaron & I take a few hours to talk about it. We ask very specific questions to help us reflect, learn, grow, plan and dream for what’s ahead.
Organizations and companies do this to better themselves and their teams, so why do we put a pass on the most important team of all – our family!?
In this post I’m going to share with you some of the questions Aaron and I go over. We include some extras that are specifically catered to our family, but these are the major ones that I hope you will adopt into your own life!
Please adjust them to fit your year & your season of life.
SUMMIT QUESTIONS
Story of the Year
If you were to retell the story of the year in five minutes, what would you say?
What were areas that your spouse included that you didn’t?
What did you forget or what did this exercise help bring back?
Would you say the story 2019 told was the one you wanted to tell? Why or why not?
The Wins
Write down the cool things that happened – big or small.
Literally celebrate it! Have a celebratory dinner and tell stories about the wins!
What would you say is the biggest ‘win’ from this past year?
The Losses
What would you say was the hardest moment last year and why?
Have you learned anything?
Did it change you in anyway?
Where do you feel like God showed up the biggest in that challenging thing?
Are there any patterns you notice in regards to difficulty? Do you feel like God was nudging you in a particular way to learn something in this area?
What’s something that took a lot of hard work but your glad you did it?
Rapid Fire – Favorites of the Year
- Memory
- Date
- Moment with kids
- Movie watched
- Meal
- Moment with friends
- New thing we started
- Place of growth
- New Habit
Overview Questions
What is one area in your spouse that you saw the most growth and are proud of them?
What was something new you did or implemented that seemed to work, and you are glad you did?
Where did God surprise you this year?
What did you do this year that will benefit you 50 years from now?
What do we want to leave in 2019?
What did we feel like were the healthiest and most life-giving things we did in 2019?
What are some new practices we want to incorporate into 2020 that will lead us closer to Jesus?
Spiritually
What did God teach you this year?
Where do you feel like God showed up the biggest?
Were there any places God was nudging you along in some area of growth?
Faith life
How is your relationship with the Lord?
What area needs the most attention / growth?
What do you feel like you grew in the most?
What did you talk to Him about the most?
Relationships & Family Rhythms
What relationship really grew this year?
What relationship would you like to cultivate more?
Were there any relationships that were clearly directed by God?
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How is the health of our current rhythms?
Which rhythm gave us the most life this year?
Which one could we have lived without in 2019?
Which one needs more work or tweaking to get to better results?
Any new ones we want to add?
Any we want to change?
Any we want to take away?
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Where do you feel like sin patterns most entered the marriage or our individual lives this year?
How do you think your sin affected the marriage or family?
What did God reveal about yourself this year or how did He help you fight and resist temptation, the devil, the flesh and the world?
What is the most helpful thing I do as a spouse when your sin pattern begins to show?
What is the least helpful thing I do as a spouse?
Where did you see God triumphant over sin in your life and marriage and family this year?
What about in areas of weakness or hurt or pain or any type of serious spiritual battle even though it might not be sin?
Marriage life
IN this season, when is the best time for us to connect daily & weekly?
What makes you feel the most loved by me?
Family life
What do our weekends / time off look like?
Kids
What do the kids need that we’re not currently giving them?
What do the kids need less of?
Travel life
Which trips will be just us, family trips, dad only trips, dad with a kid trip, mom trip, mom with kid trip, etc.? When? What do those look like?
Family vacation? When?
Social life
Who do we want to ask to mentor us?
- Contact them, state our intentions and schedule a monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly get together with them to bring questions, seek advice and wisdom, etc.
Who do we want to mentor?
Computer life
How much time do you think you spend on a screen?
Is it adding to your life or taking away?
Work Life
What did God teach you through work?
Where did God really bless your work/ businesses this year?
Did God reveal anything specific to focus on this coming year?
Financial life
Worst financial decision we made this year. Why?
One way we can change how we see, spend, or use finances next year.
Best fun purchase we each made this year.
Best use of money or moment of generosity this year.
List or name thankfulness items of provision where God took care of us this year financially.
Emergency Fund
Figure out budgets and realistic way to stick to them
Groceries
- Create meal plans (when?)
Setting aside money for:
- Dates
- Family activities
- Church conferences
- Christmas season
- Giving opportunities
Personal life
What are you thankful for from this past year?
What do you need to repent of?
How did you respond to the story God wrote for you in 2019?
Do you have any new convictions this year? How do they affect those around you?
If you do have new convictions, how are you going to add them to your lifestyle?
Physical life
How can I keep my body healthy?
Creative life
What new skill can we learn this year? (examples: making bread, woodworking, painting, etc.)