week 3 with spencer

Tuesday (6.8.21) started off with a couple more newborn photos that I like having for personal use. When I was done, Rylie asked if she could take a picture with him. I asked Emmaline if she wanted in as well, but she declined and watched from across the room.

Wednesday (6.9.21) I had some time alone with all four kids and lets just say there were a lot of crumbs on the couch

Thursday (6.10.21) was Spencer’s two-week appointment and I was hopeful he was close to his birth weight if not passed it. Thankfully, he had gained a good bit of weight since his first appointment where he only weighed 7lb 11oz. In the two weeks we had together, he got up to 8lbs 15oz (4oz above birth weight). Yay!

After his appointment, the two of us ran a few errands. I was on my second stop (of three) when I called it quits and drove home in tears. The floodgates of my emotions had erupted all because of a stranger at Walmart.

I was hustling through the store to pick up a few things when Spencer started fussing in his carseat. His fuss quickly turned into a cry but I kept moving while talking and comforting him. While I was on my last aisle, a lady came up to me and asked if he was okay. I assured her he was fine and politely said I was going to keep moving to try and calm him down.

While we were waiting in the checkout line, I was doing my best to comfort him without picking him up because I would just have to set him down to load the groceries onto the belt. Meanwhile the same lady re-aproached me and said, “I really am very concerned about your baby. don’t you have a bottle or something you can give him?” realizing this lady legit had an issue with me, I responded, “he’s okay. really.” she pressed on, “he is not! look at him, he’s been crying for over 30minutes. everyone in the store has heard him!” staying as calm as I could, I replied, “I haven’t even been in here for 30minutes…” she cut me off, “he’s just a helpless baby! what kind of a mother are you that you’d just let him cry like that!?”

I was stunned. shocked really. speechless. so I slowly turned my back to her while I said, “okay, well, have a nice day.”
I could feel her eyes burning into my back, but as I tried again to give Spencer his paci in attempts to soothe him, only to be met with another wail, I began to unbuckle him. as soon as I held him up to me, he stopped. rocking him back & forth, I saw out of the corner of my eye the woman walking away, shaking her head. tears welled up inside me, begging to be released but I held them back as I started one-handedly unloading my cart. an old gentleman who was standing behind me asked if I’d let him unload my cart. I accepted his offer and while he unloaded my groceries, the lady behind him looked at me with kind eyes and said, “you handled that very well!” with a shaky voice, I replied, “thank you!” The gentleman in front of me chimed in and said “she probably doesn’t even have kids. babies cry. it’s okay! you did great.”

I bolted out of that store as fast as I could, threw my purchases in the car and sat in the front seat nursing Spencer while I sobbed. Even on the drive home I occasionally shed a tear, feeling how puffy my eyes were and holding onto the steering wheel while trying to control my breaths. I knew what there lady had spoken over me wasn’t true – I knew I was a great mom and deeply loved my kids. but the whole situation was still cruel and heartless.

Friday (6.11.21) the kids and I decided to join Aaron, Rick & Michelle to pick up two trucks/trailers full of pine straw for the business in Georgia. A 4-hour road trip took 6 because of all the stops we had to make to feed Spencer, but everyone was very accommodating.

I went through slight PTSD from the Walmart incident when Spencer would cry for a few minutes for various reasons. To the point I chose to whip out some essential oils to help recenter me.

Although I was slightly nervous about all of us sharing one room (because I didn’t want Spencer’s middle of the night feedings to disturb anyone – mainly the girls), he did a phenomenal job and only slightly fussed at the end of his 5am feeding.

The drive back home on Saturday (6.12.21) was slightly faster and we were home in time for bed before getting up and ready for church the next day (6.13.21).

The remainder of the day was spent at home, unpacking, catching up on some projects and doing some planning for the week.

Monday (6.14.21) was a similar story. I baked, did some chores and did school with Rylie all while carrying my favorite little guy.