There are times when sharing our adoption journey so publicly is really hard.
And this is one of those times.
Aaron and I were forced to make some really hard, complicated, personal decisions regarding the adoption.
I’ve spent weeks knowing I needed to update everyone and yet paralyzed by the thought of what others might think. But I’ve decided to move past that because I’m so thankful for each of you and the investment you have in our adoption. So here’s the update….
The month of May was tricky.
Our contracts and legal paperwork are expiring this summer and, unfortunately, it costs money to renew them.
Aaron and I knew we had really big decisions to make. Do we stay with our current consultants or do we move to one agency? Local or some other state? Do we stay with private infant adoption or consider Foster kids with the state? Every single choice would create a different, new path we’d have to start.
The month was wrapping up and we both felt clueless what to do next. So we agreed to take the week to pray and seek God separately. I begged for His wisdom and discernment. Tearfully expressing my heart and focusing on listening vs hearing what I wanted.
“Stay.”
That’s what kept replaying in my soul.
“Stay.”
Just a couple weeks ago I was seeking Him for a different adoption matter and I clearly heard “wait for them.”
Aaron and I went to our favorite Mexican restaurant to have our business meeting and we recapped our options. Then we took turns sharing what we felt God had spoken to us. It matched.
We agreed to stay on the path we’re on – private infant adoption with our consulting firm who has been very good to us.
We also talked about the cases we’ve received up to this point and how we’ve felt about them. I said that every time we got a case, even if it was one I wanted to pursue, it didn’t feel right. Aaron understood and agreed he usually had a weird feeling as well.
Aaron and I decided to contact our consultant and ask she only send us twin cases with no budget.
This means we have no idea how much we need to raise. But what I do know is when I was praying and God told me to “stay,” my immediate response was “okay… but the costs will take all of our savings.” which made me nervous.
But I also had this settling peace of “You just pay, I’ll take care of the rest.”
So we’re back to square one.
I’m filling out legal papers and making appointments. I’m paying our case worker, profile book editor, the government, certifications and, in August, I’ll be paying for our consulting firm to keep sending us cases.
It’s completely Faith. Trust. Patience I suppose.
It’s me worshiping God completely surrendered knowing that He knows better than I do. It’s me imagining two babies on my chest and overwhelming tears staining my face when this part of our adoption journey is over.
For those of you who are angry at the system for the costs, loopholes and time waiting for a placement/adoption, I’ll be sending a separate email about that in the coming days. I understand your frustration as we have lived it for over a year now. But I’ve received some really tactful truth and well spoken wisdom that I’d love to share with you.
If you aren’t already on our email list, you can sign-up here and never miss an adoption update!
In the meantime –
here are some next steps we all can take while we wait:
+Share Our Story
we know God works through people and whether we get to be an encouraging story, they feel led to donate financially OR they know of a situation where we might be able to help the expectant mama out, it’s all important.
If they’re interested in keeping up with us, they can join our email list.
+Matching Grant
we still have our matching donation grant. If you’d like to donate and know your donation will be MATCHED, click here.
+Fundraisers
we have some really awesome fundraisers in the pipeline this summer, so keep an eye out for our emails and social media posts.
