a letter to me || the little years

Hey Sarah,

I know right now you’re tired from Paisley waking you up multiple times at night. I know you’re struggling to find that balance between being a home-keeper and making each of your three daughters feel loved and individually important and valued. And in-between it all, I know you’re silently asking time to slow down just a tad.

I look at my three little girls and lately I feel like all I can think is how my heart will ache for these little years one day.

Frankly, three kiddos 3-years-old and younger is hard. Most days are overwhelming and I often forget to stop doing the dishes so I can hold my fussy Emmaline who is passionately reenacting the tale of her big sister invading her personal space, or sacrifice some of my desired alone time to play with Rylie, or let the house be a little messy because I’m rocking sleepy Paisley in my arms.

And most nights as I’m laying in bed after a long day, the regret sets in and peace has left my heart and is replaced by anxiety and sorrow as I watch these three little girls grow up before my eyes. Before I fall asleep, I ask God to fill the empty spaces that this mama missed today.

A childhood friend pointed out how big Rylie has gotten lately, and that whole week I had multiple people make similar comments. I flipped through our yearly photo books and found precious pictures of my oldest baby girl and was shocked at how quickly time had flown by. Now she loves to share about this random crocodile that seems to be breaking our breakfast table and climbing on our ceiling. Haha.

So please please please Lord, don’t let me forget to stop folding the laundry to snuggle in the warmth of a fresh load from the dryer with Rylie. Please don’t let me forget to snuggle Emmaline after a nap. And please don’t let me be so hurried to clean a house that I miss holding sweet Baby Paisley as she falls asleep in the security of my arms.

Thanks for the reminders. I’ll see you around.

-me