spencer – 1 month old

Turning one month is always bittersweet. I’m sad to see the newborn cuddles, coos and wake-up stretches go but I’m excited to see his features develop & enjoy watching him discover more and more of the world around him.

Likes:

• being held
• eating
• looking around
• sleeping

Dislikes:

• getting dressed
• being hungry
• getting his diaper changed

Food:

Spencer has been a good eater since day one, and we make lots of jokes that he’s definitely a Shaver man with how much he likes to eat.

I’m currently nursing and my freezer stash is growing with what I’m able to pump at night.

At his 2-week appointment he weighed 8lbs 15oz – 4oz over his birth weight. Yay!

Sleep:

He’s a good sleeper (especially considering all the daily noise he has to endure), but he’s up roughly every 2 hours to eat. At night, his longest stretch has been 4/5 hours but it’s more common for him to be up every 3 hours to eat.

Life:

Life with Spencer is so special. He’s obviously very young but he’s already made a huge mark on our family. The girls are obsessed with him (except Paisley when she wants to be held) and Aaron has loved having a son.

A lot of our activities out either involve another adult (Aaron or my mother-in-law, Michelle) or me minus a kid or two. I’ve only had all four with me by myself once and we visited some close friends at a park.

Me:

I gotta admit, life with four 4years old and younger has had me extremely overwhelmed at times. Mainly the chaos and the inevitable moment in the day when everybody seems to need something from me all at the same time. I think I become over-stimulated because I suddenly just cannot deal and start shutting down.

Not that I would call it “post-partum depression or anxiety,” but I definitely was struggling with something those first couple weeks. Extreme, intense emotions that would swing without warning and leave me feeling strange and off.

The rawest way I can explain it is I have really great moments where I’m good & basically normal and I have other moments where I am so overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted to the point I want to cry and (unfortunately and I’m ashamed to say) times I don’t want to care for my girls because I’m just so done and almost everything they do bothers me. It takes a while / a lot to get me to that point, but it happens occasionally. I also have had moments where I want to isolate myself (not go to church, cancel a playdate, etc.) but I know that’s not healthy so I intentionally make myself be social haha. None of that is normal for me and it’s unlike anything I’ve experienced in the past postpartum.

Thankfully, I seem to be finding some kind of peace and cadence in how I handle the day-to-day because those feelings are few and far between now. I still have moments of feeling “off,” but it’s not as intense as it was.

I also made this essential oils roller and I’ve been using it a lot. It’s been really helpful to help me slow down, breathe and get grounded. Not to mention worship music constantly playing & knowing God wired me to raise these FOUR kiddos – we’re in a heavy transition period with lots of moving parts. We’ll settle into our rhythm soon and it’ll be a lot smoother then it is now.

I’ve been very lax at the condition of our home but I still find time to get the “key chores” done. Crumbs seem to be everywhere and the sink always has dishes in it. Laundry is a daily event and don’t bother expecting the kids’ playroom to be clean – but I’ve embraced the mess and it’s really not terrible.

Babies don’t keep, and I’ve tried my best to cuddle him and stare at his squishiness as often as I can.

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Want to see a more detailed breakdown of our first month with Spencer? Check out these posts:

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

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Rylie at 1 month old

Emmaline at 1 month old 

Paisley at 1 month old