we are active!!!

WE ARE NOW ACTIVELY RECEIVING CASES 🥳

Aaron & I have dreamed of this moment since we decided to adopt at the beginning of 2022 and to say we’re excited is an understatement! 😄

Full transparency, the devil tried to steal our joy. Even though we had finally reached this next, pivotal chapter in our adoption journey, we felt discouraged. We cannot say “yes” to cases until we have a lot more money in our account. 😕 The cheapest match fee we’ve seen (think of it as a down payment that is due immediately when Mom chooses us) is $30,000 – and that is not even the whole amount that could be due. The cost changes based on the case so we won’t know how much we’ll need until we are matched.

My heart was really struggling. I KNOW God will provide, yet my brain was having a hard time seeing how. The gap feels huge. It is huge. And it’s all out of my control.

I confided in some friends of mine and I was reminded that this whole adoption journey is heavy. It’s a season where we have to depend and press into God, but discouragement, frustration and questions are natural. A friend also texted this to me –

I saw this leaf outside today and the way the sun was shining on it was so beautiful, I thought wow that would make an amazing picture I just need to get down there. But when I went over to try to get a picture, no matter what I did, it just did not look right. But that was from ground level perspective. Looking down on things from upstairs in the window, it just looked so beautiful. God sees the end picture and it is beautiful. You won’t be able to see everything from where you are at right now, but it increases your dependence on Him. Is frustrating, draining, disappointing, and all the feelings. But it will be worth it because God’s plans always are!

A few weeks ago, I read this mind-blowing analogy that made my jaw drop because it spoke directly to an intimate battle I was fighting but I also find it being brought to the front of my mind regularly.

Lysa Terkeurst in her Embraced devotional shared she went on a trip where the snow came early, so early the trees hadn’t shed their Autumn leaves yet.

The trees weren’t designed to face snow before releasing their leaves. They weren’t made to carry more than they should. And neither are we.

…she can’t embrace Winter until she lets go of Fall. Like a tree, women can’t carry two seasons simultaneously. In a violent struggle of trying, she’ll miss every bit of joy each season promises to bring. Release brings the gift of peace.

As Aaron and I planned what kind of announcement photo we wanted to take sharing our big news, I realized I don’t want to miss out on the joys this season can bring us. The big ways God will show off, the ways people will bless us, the journey… I don’t want to complain about the uphill hike so much I forget to look around at the view.

So I chose to change my attitude – I chose to focus on the joy of “wow, we’re active!” and celebrate all the ways God has already shown His faithfulness. And I know and trust He will continue the good work He started.