After the farmer’s market last Saturday (6.4.22), my sister-in-law and I went to the thrift store. I followed her to the kids section when I saw it. A bear, propped on a shelf away from all the other stuffed animals I avoid. I read the writing on his chest and my heart got emotional because I instantly thought of our adopted baby. I looked over at my sister-in-law and she had tears in her eyes. I debated for a minute if I should put it in my cart or keep walking, but I decided to toss it in. She said, “okay good! I was gonna say, ‘if you don’t buy that bear, I’m going to buy it for you!'” hahaha
I got home and tossed it in the wash right away.
Aside from the words written on its chest (that I pray over our baby), this bear also represents something deeper to me. There are parts of motherhood, parts I cherish, that I won’t get to have with this new addition to our family. I’ll never get to feel them kick from inside my tummy, or take maternity pictures, or rub my belly while I talk to them – other stuff like that. But, I have this bear. A bear that I can hug and cuddle with and pray with. A place-holder for this time their birth mother gets with them that I will not (and that’s okay). A bear that I will gift to my child when we meet them for the first time. A bear that was donated to the thrift store now is a crucial part of our adoption story to me.
So if you see this bear in the background of our house or I randomly bring it up, you’ll know how it started 😉 and you’ll know –