Today (5.15.19) was supposed to be my last day at the office. But instead, I’m looking back at my first 15 days at home.
I’ll be honest and admit that these past 15 days have not been what I expected. The role change from working-mom to stay-at-home-mom has not been as smooth as I thought it would be. The transition has been an adjustment. The girls were extremely whiny and clingy for the first week amongst other emotions that eventually caused me to feel clueless about how to care for my own kids.
I also was creating a crazy long to-do to recover from our move and try to make our new home… well, homey. Each day that passed, the list seemed to get longer and I quickly got discouraged.
Guys, there were tears. Multiple times.
But within one conversation, Aaron reminded me that I didn’t have a deadline to get my to-do list done, and in that moment I realized that my brain had subconsciously (out of habit) put a deadline on my crazy long to-do list like I was on vacation and Monday I’d be back in the office. The weight that lifted off my shoulders in that moment was indescribable.
From then on, I looked at my to-do list differently and took some advice from a blogger I follow that helped and has allowed me to actually get a lot of my to-do list crossed off 😀 After the girls realized Mama was home to stay, their clinginess died down and I found ways to have them help me get my projects done.
I still haven’t mastered the “me-time” part, and I feel like it’s evident when you look at my socials and blog – but I am determined to find a rhythm and the only thing on my to-do list for the next week (5.18-25.19) is to step back, think, create and plan how I can work it into my daily routine.
I’ve decided that these next few months will likely be a season of growth – continually adding an aspect to my stay-at-home-mom AND business owner lifestyle I want to create.
I’ve accepted it’ll probably take me some time to find my rhythm as a stay-at-home-mom of 2 (soon to be 3) and a business owner.
I’ve decided that my lack of knowledge these last couple weeks about my kids and overall overwhelment is okay and there is no shame in it. That it is a major adjustment from being a working-mom for almost 2 years and then having to get used to spending all day, everyday with 2 toddlers while being pregnant and it is nothing to be embarrassed by. I’m learning that it is okay to admit to others that you need grace, that you sometimes need to forgive yourself. I’ll find my footing eventually and I’m well on my way.